Life as a artist: 5 years in
These posts serve as a reflection on the past year of my life as an artist. I share my thoughts and experiences since I left my studio job in 2018 to pursue an independent career as an artist
Moving to Vancouver Island
For a few years, my partner and I had been feeling increasingly out of place in Ontario. Life there had become harder, with worsening seasonal depression that seemed to get worse every year. I longed to be surrounded by nature, and honestly, just somewhere with better weather. For a long time, the only spark of creativity I could find came from scrolling through Pinterest, and it was starting to feel really superficial.
We still wanted to stay in Canada since it was simply easier that way, so we began looking into other province around the country, British Columbia, specifically Vancouver Island, really caught our eye. It was beautiful and had that charming small-town feel. We decided to take a trip in 2023, and from the moment we landed, there was a sense of calm and serenity that we haven’t felt in a very long time. The forests, the coastline, the mountains rising in the distance, it was like the world had slowed down just enough for us to catch our breath. It soon became clear: this was where we belonged. Leaving my family behind was heart-wrenching, and it still weighs heavy on me till this day, but we knew we had to try something different for our own sanity. Even if it might not have worked out, it was a risk we were willing to take.
After returning from that trip, we immediately started looking for homes in British Columbia. With the housing market so unpredictable at the time, it felt like a now-or-never situation. By July, we had purchased our first home in the countryside, packed up all our belongings, and set off on a five-day road trip across the country. And now, here we are! Living here for the past six months has been everything I hoped for and more. I have access to an abundance of nature, surrounded by towering trees, rolling meadows, and breathtaking views of mountains and the ocean. It truly feels like a dream come true.
Although we have no regrets, the move to British Columbia came with its own set of challenges, particularly the high cost of living. The saying “BC stands for bring cash” proved true, as I quickly discovered. Expenses, including monthly mortgage payments and everyday necessities, were always on my mind. While the benefits of living here outweighed the drawbacks in many ways, the sustainability of our life here remained uncertain. It was a topic that weighed heavily on our minds. Despite the vulnerability I felt in discussing my financial situation, I recognized its significance in shaping my journey.
A Big Transition: Digital to Traditional
This year, I made the decision to transition from digital tools to traditional mediums. Although I had wanted to do this for a while, I had always been hesitant, knowing there would be a transition period where I might earn less money, a fear I think many self-employed people constantly grapple with. After being in the industry for so many years, it was clear that digital art was more marketable due to its speed and versatility. However, I craved a deeper connection with my work that digital art was no longer fulfilling.
Since making the shift, the process has been slower and sometimes frustrating, but it has also brought me so much satisfaction. Every brushstroke, every texture, and every layer of paint feels deliberate, meaningful, and alive. The work demands my full attention and presence, and in return, it gives me a sense of intimacy with my art that I couldn’t find when painting digitally. The slower pace has allowed me to explore ideas more deeply, experiment with techniques, and truly enjoy the whole process from start to finish. Though it comes with challenges, like uncertainty in income and adapting to new materials, it has also reminded me why I became an artist in the first place: for the excitement, the unpredictability, and the intimate connection to the work I craved.
Turning 29 was a milestone that brought with it a newfound wisdom and confidence, qualities I deeply value about aging. With each passing year, I found myself trusting my instincts more and letting go of the self-doubt that had once held me back. I’ve also realized that a life without taking risks can quickly become monotonous; the courage to step into the unknown adds meaning and excitement to life.
I’m a firm believer that hard work eventually opens doors, and I’m thrilled to say that it has. I have an upcoming first solo gallery show in April 2024 at Gallery Nucleus, a dream I’ve had since… well, forever. I see this achievement as a testament to the rewards that come from taking leaps of faith and pursuing one’s passions wholeheartedly.
Learning a New Medium
I had always been very familiar with gouache and watercolor; I used them throughout my childhood and all the way through college, but there was one medium I had never really touched, but it always intrigued me the most: oils. I loved watching oil painting process videos; they were so satisfying to watch, and there was something about oils that made paintings truly come alive. I had played around with it a little a few years ago, but never really got the hang of it and hadn’t picked it up since.
Around the same time, I also picked up a book for the first time in years, Sarah J. Maas’s A Court of Thorns and Roses. I had been seeing it everywhere on social media and was curious to see what the hype was about. Honestly, I hadn’t been obsessed with a book since Twilight, and I had always craved that feeling again. To my surprise, the series gave me that and more. The vivid images that ran through my mind as I read were exhilarating, and it was exactly what I needed to reignite my creativity.
With this new excitement, I got out my oil paints that were collecting dust and decided to give them another try. It was a gloomy December day on the island, with foggy forests and windswept mossy trees; it served as the perfect inspiration. That’s when I painted Raventhorn. And wow this time felt so different from the previous times I had used oils, for some reason, it just clicked. I was so happy I had picked it up again because it reignited my love for painting, and I couldn’t wait to see what the future held.
It’s amazing how life’s twists and turns, both big and small, led me to this pivotal moment, a painting I truly believe has forever altered the course of my life and career. It’s a beautiful reminder of how life truly is a remarkable journey.
Moreover, if you ever find yourself lacking inspiration, I recommend perhaps picking up a book. Choose a genre that resonates with you, and allow yourself to be transported to a different world. A good book has the power to take you on an exciting journey, introducing you to new characters and new worlds. It's a truly captivating experience. When you let yourself immerse fully in another world, you'll find yourself imagining things you never had before.
Raventhorn - Oil on Paper 11×14”
In conclusion
I encourage everyone to take that leap you’ve always been thinking about, to embrace the risks you've always been hesitant to take, and to move closer to fulfilling your destiny. Life is too short for regrets, and we must make the most of our time on this earth. As I mentioned in my previous post, if you pour your heart, mind, and soul into something, failure won’t be an option for you. While obstacles may arise, you will be rewarded in one way or another; such is the nature of life. So, cast aside any self-doubt and excuses, and take that next step. You won't regret it.
